He torments her with his words, leaves her with bundles of cash and no sense of fulfillment
His empty promises and pecks on the cheek leave her feeling diminished and lonely
At night she reaches for him but his place in bed is empty until the early morning
Tears are what comforts her and the desperate thoughts that maybe he is working late
All her precious possesions are nothing more than meaningless bribes to keep her
She isn't blind, when they go out, she see's the pitiful looks that come her way
Everyone knows but she just can't seem to let him go
His smirk of satisfaction makes her sick, the hickies on his neck weren't from her and she knows
But she keeps lying to herself, hoping he'll change, but he never does and he never will
Every night she gives herself willingly hoping this time he'll realise he's been a fool
But the joke's on her yet again, his seed spread and now she's his prisoner
Forever attached, forever trapped, forever imprisoned
Flashbacks of his angry growls and painful slaps make her realise,
This life inside of her cannot be born this way
Rushing out into the bathroom, the bottle awaits her
Her fate is sealed with the last swallow of water
What's done is done, this seed will never grow.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Flicker
Alone in a corner,she waits
Voices pounding in her head, knife held in her hand
Wishing she never had to leave, wishing she never had to live this way
All she wanted was live life happily, not raped by her mental illness
Couldn't take the pressures of everyday things, everyday people
She wasn't an everyday kind of girl
Moods struck her like blows from a fist, hard and painful
Her heart was bruised and bloody, her soul was cracked in so many places
Hugs and kisses were replaced by threats and put downs
No one in her family would even take the time to throw her a bread crumb
Realising she was all alone, she decided there was just nothing to go on for
Yet in the seemingly endless darkness, a tiny flicker of light shone
Hope was dim but not gone, maybe after all she could live on...
Voices pounding in her head, knife held in her hand
Wishing she never had to leave, wishing she never had to live this way
All she wanted was live life happily, not raped by her mental illness
Couldn't take the pressures of everyday things, everyday people
She wasn't an everyday kind of girl
Moods struck her like blows from a fist, hard and painful
Her heart was bruised and bloody, her soul was cracked in so many places
Hugs and kisses were replaced by threats and put downs
No one in her family would even take the time to throw her a bread crumb
Realising she was all alone, she decided there was just nothing to go on for
Yet in the seemingly endless darkness, a tiny flicker of light shone
Hope was dim but not gone, maybe after all she could live on...
Monday, October 23, 2006
Scum Of The Earth
Your a pathetic, disguisting disease. You infect desperate men who will do anything for a fuck.
Your a money hungry whore who swallows anything she can and doesn't give anything back.
Everyone walks by and spits on you as you sit there wearing your globs of eyeliner, layers of lip stick, hiked up mini skirt and slut heels, just begging for a dollar.
You use people and suck up everything you can, your a greedy bitch.
You think the world revolves around you but in fact the world wants nothing but to be rid of you.
Your a money hungry whore who swallows anything she can and doesn't give anything back.
Everyone walks by and spits on you as you sit there wearing your globs of eyeliner, layers of lip stick, hiked up mini skirt and slut heels, just begging for a dollar.
You use people and suck up everything you can, your a greedy bitch.
You think the world revolves around you but in fact the world wants nothing but to be rid of you.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Good Intentions.
The father held his newborn daughter in his arms for the first time.
He wasn't able to tell her of all the things he would shield her from as she grew up.
He just stared down at her as she reached for him.
Tears escaped his eyes and he was amazed at how much he loved this little girl already.
He looked over at his wife and held her hand and smiled.
They finally had a family.
Years went by and the little girl grew up and her daddy watched her from the sidelines.
He worked all night and slept all day and when he could he hugged her every now and again.
Never did the thought occur to him that she wanted to spend time with him.
The man had good intentions but then again who doesn't?
Eventually their family fell apart, he had forgotten the love he felt the day she was born.
The girl learned as time went by that he was far too busy for hugs anymore.
The mother learned that he was too wrapped up in work to realise he had a family at home.
The father never learned what he had lost and by then it was too late for all of them.
Now he has a new family and sends cheques so the two of them can survive without him.
The truth is they had learned to survive without him even while he was still there.
To this day he still wonders why things turned out the way they did, he had such good intentions.
He wasn't able to tell her of all the things he would shield her from as she grew up.
He just stared down at her as she reached for him.
Tears escaped his eyes and he was amazed at how much he loved this little girl already.
He looked over at his wife and held her hand and smiled.
They finally had a family.
Years went by and the little girl grew up and her daddy watched her from the sidelines.
He worked all night and slept all day and when he could he hugged her every now and again.
Never did the thought occur to him that she wanted to spend time with him.
The man had good intentions but then again who doesn't?
Eventually their family fell apart, he had forgotten the love he felt the day she was born.
The girl learned as time went by that he was far too busy for hugs anymore.
The mother learned that he was too wrapped up in work to realise he had a family at home.
The father never learned what he had lost and by then it was too late for all of them.
Now he has a new family and sends cheques so the two of them can survive without him.
The truth is they had learned to survive without him even while he was still there.
To this day he still wonders why things turned out the way they did, he had such good intentions.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
The Dark Beauty
Who was to know that there was evil deep in her heart?
There was always that look in her eye, that untold desire to destroy.
She'd knock down anyone who came in her way, killed all those she supposedly loved.
Her mind was poisoned and her heart was black.
Her one true love was the drugs.
She was a maniac but hasn't it been proven that maniacs are the most intelligent of us all?
She had more will-power and determination than any cut throat buisnessman
Her reign of terror was spread out far and wide and she took over more land than Hitler in WII
No one knew her name but her story was told for many years
She was a such a mystery to us all ...
There was always that look in her eye, that untold desire to destroy.
She'd knock down anyone who came in her way, killed all those she supposedly loved.
Her mind was poisoned and her heart was black.
Her one true love was the drugs.
She was a maniac but hasn't it been proven that maniacs are the most intelligent of us all?
She had more will-power and determination than any cut throat buisnessman
Her reign of terror was spread out far and wide and she took over more land than Hitler in WII
No one knew her name but her story was told for many years
She was a such a mystery to us all ...
Empty Girl, Filled With Fake Emotion.
Her pain is bare on her arms and on the scarlett soaked tissues.
There is no cure for her disease, she's easily pleased.
She spouts poison and will infect you at any given moment.
She takes what she can and gives nothing back.
Her skin gleams with steel and is hidden under fake colours that shine brighter than the sun.
Her heart is small, colder than ice and darker then the darkest night
She takes anything that will numb her for awhile.
She refuses her true cure, allowing herself to fall deeper into her pain filled hole.
She'll push your buttons, she wants you begging for more.
She feeds off of attention, she despises those who question her fame.
Her fan club consists of two lonely fools.
The love of her life has her on a tight leash.
She stands tall infront of all the world but inside she's a scared little girl.
It's a crazy world out there and she's stuck still wishing her life away.
There is no cure for her disease, she's easily pleased.
She spouts poison and will infect you at any given moment.
She takes what she can and gives nothing back.
Her skin gleams with steel and is hidden under fake colours that shine brighter than the sun.
Her heart is small, colder than ice and darker then the darkest night
She takes anything that will numb her for awhile.
She refuses her true cure, allowing herself to fall deeper into her pain filled hole.
She'll push your buttons, she wants you begging for more.
She feeds off of attention, she despises those who question her fame.
Her fan club consists of two lonely fools.
The love of her life has her on a tight leash.
She stands tall infront of all the world but inside she's a scared little girl.
It's a crazy world out there and she's stuck still wishing her life away.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Oh Little Boy
You were my angel from above who saw to my safety.
You were my crossing guard who allowed no one to trample my heart.
You were my guiding light who made sure I didn't hit the cold brick walls.
You were the love that kept my heart full.
You are the poison in my vial.
You are the worm in my rotten apple.
You are the blade who cuts my skin oh so deeply.
You are the villain in my story.
Oh little boy your games won't work here anymore.
Everyone loves a football player.
Everyone loves a rugby player.
Everyone loves a good Christian.
Everyone loves a good student.
Everyone has no idea he is able to twist the truth.
Everyone has no idea he is a cheater in more ways than one.
Everyone has no idea he is what they call fake.
Everyone has no idea he strikes her when she displeases him.
Oh little boy your games won't work here anymore.
You were my crossing guard who allowed no one to trample my heart.
You were my guiding light who made sure I didn't hit the cold brick walls.
You were the love that kept my heart full.
You are the poison in my vial.
You are the worm in my rotten apple.
You are the blade who cuts my skin oh so deeply.
You are the villain in my story.
Oh little boy your games won't work here anymore.
Everyone loves a football player.
Everyone loves a rugby player.
Everyone loves a good Christian.
Everyone loves a good student.
Everyone has no idea he is able to twist the truth.
Everyone has no idea he is a cheater in more ways than one.
Everyone has no idea he is what they call fake.
Everyone has no idea he strikes her when she displeases him.
Oh little boy your games won't work here anymore.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Forget.
The mask is unveiled, the gloves are off.
There's no use fighting what's about to come.
You have yet to discover.
What lurks beneath the wings of the dove.
The cries are not of horror but of something else.
We are so immune to the pain that we feel.
How are we to become something when we've never been anything to begin with?
Can you really look at me and tell me all that you feel is real?
The way we move in the daylight is no match for how we fly in the night.
Misery is the next best thing besides drugs.
We use pain as an excuse and not as a malady.
This life is meant for more than what we have given.
The truth lies with the widow whose loneliness is her only friend.
Remember the days you walked by the shore never forgetting the way you once were?
We live only to die, we remember only to forget.
There's no use fighting what's about to come.
You have yet to discover.
What lurks beneath the wings of the dove.
The cries are not of horror but of something else.
We are so immune to the pain that we feel.
How are we to become something when we've never been anything to begin with?
Can you really look at me and tell me all that you feel is real?
The way we move in the daylight is no match for how we fly in the night.
Misery is the next best thing besides drugs.
We use pain as an excuse and not as a malady.
This life is meant for more than what we have given.
The truth lies with the widow whose loneliness is her only friend.
Remember the days you walked by the shore never forgetting the way you once were?
We live only to die, we remember only to forget.
Monday, March 20, 2006
December.
Far away in the distance I hear those fateful chimes.
The wind decides what way to follow.
Lying on the ground in the darkness,feel the earth rumble.
Have you stuck the knife deep in her heart?
Have you felt?
Your continuing on like nothing has ever begun.
I stand infront of you about to ask you.
Yet you turn away , are you afraid?
The forest is alive tonight.
I dare you to come out.
Come out my darling, find me in the night.
Follow the path, down to the river.
I'll make you scream and quiver.
The wolf howls as you approach.
It's meant as a warning and yet it goes unnoticed.
Take heed.
The dare has been fulfilled.
Watch the shadows, watch them dance among the trees.
Can you feel that you are not alone?
Do you understand what's going on?
Run far away but always remember.
That fateful december.
The wind decides what way to follow.
Lying on the ground in the darkness,feel the earth rumble.
Have you stuck the knife deep in her heart?
Have you felt?
Your continuing on like nothing has ever begun.
I stand infront of you about to ask you.
Yet you turn away , are you afraid?
The forest is alive tonight.
I dare you to come out.
Come out my darling, find me in the night.
Follow the path, down to the river.
I'll make you scream and quiver.
The wolf howls as you approach.
It's meant as a warning and yet it goes unnoticed.
Take heed.
The dare has been fulfilled.
Watch the shadows, watch them dance among the trees.
Can you feel that you are not alone?
Do you understand what's going on?
Run far away but always remember.
That fateful december.
The Hero's Tale.
Spill my pain across the floor, pour my hate out forever more.
Feel the rush of the crushing depression as I reach out to heaven.
I know I'm cast down into the depths of hell.
But at long last I don't need that pitiful wishing well.
Teach me what I need to know.
Help me learn to let go.
My mind is racing past the hours on the clock.
When will my heart finally stop?
The hero tells the tale of a lie,while the poor man dies.
This life is more of a fantasy then a reality.
Painful truths and memories of lost youth.
Uncover what you need to find that keeps you here.
My one last gasping breath is what I fear.
I clutch at my heart, as you tear me apart.
Blood is scattered and nothing else matters.
Feel the rush of the crushing depression as I reach out to heaven.
I know I'm cast down into the depths of hell.
But at long last I don't need that pitiful wishing well.
Teach me what I need to know.
Help me learn to let go.
My mind is racing past the hours on the clock.
When will my heart finally stop?
The hero tells the tale of a lie,while the poor man dies.
This life is more of a fantasy then a reality.
Painful truths and memories of lost youth.
Uncover what you need to find that keeps you here.
My one last gasping breath is what I fear.
I clutch at my heart, as you tear me apart.
Blood is scattered and nothing else matters.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Swim Down.
Don't take one step further.
I suggest you turn away and leave.
Remember I'm like a ticking time bomb.
You'll never know when I'm going to explode.
Tears,smears,blood,cuts,death,pills and drugs.
Unlimited choices.
Take your pick,what's your poison darling.
I've chosen all of them.
My time is sooner than expected.
You've forgotten how quick it is to slip away.
The mind is mightier then the strength of a thousand men.
You have yet to find out what life is all about.
Im struggling to stay afloat.
My life jacket has been ripped off my back.
I lack any energy to recover.
Come sweet surrender.
It's now or never.
Take the one last plunge my love.
Say goodnight and let your body sink to the bottom.
I suggest you turn away and leave.
Remember I'm like a ticking time bomb.
You'll never know when I'm going to explode.
Tears,smears,blood,cuts,death,pills and drugs.
Unlimited choices.
Take your pick,what's your poison darling.
I've chosen all of them.
My time is sooner than expected.
You've forgotten how quick it is to slip away.
The mind is mightier then the strength of a thousand men.
You have yet to find out what life is all about.
Im struggling to stay afloat.
My life jacket has been ripped off my back.
I lack any energy to recover.
Come sweet surrender.
It's now or never.
Take the one last plunge my love.
Say goodnight and let your body sink to the bottom.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
My Decision
I can't seem to think or finalise anything
This has been dragged on for so long
Your left wondering whats going on
I'm here saying it'll all be alright
But I'm doubting my abilities to choose
And your stuck in the middle until I make a decision
Your so oblivious
I can't hurt you in that way
But the way I act around you now
It affects you more than anything
I can't keep being hot and cold to you all the time
Somedays I want you and others I want you gone
Is this how its supposed to be
I don't think so
My love has it's own disappearing act
You never know when it's going to come back either
I feel like I'm scared to let go
Fear is what part of what is keeping me with you
I don't want to regret my decision later
But how can we continue on like this
At the beginning you were my world
Now I don't even know where you fit
Your place is somewhere but I'm having trouble
Have I outgrown you
Are we just too different
Somedays I want you to just hold me
Somedays I want you out my front door
Why can't I just decide
Life is so frustrating
And these days I'm wondering I'm just not the same
This has been dragged on for so long
Your left wondering whats going on
I'm here saying it'll all be alright
But I'm doubting my abilities to choose
And your stuck in the middle until I make a decision
Your so oblivious
I can't hurt you in that way
But the way I act around you now
It affects you more than anything
I can't keep being hot and cold to you all the time
Somedays I want you and others I want you gone
Is this how its supposed to be
I don't think so
My love has it's own disappearing act
You never know when it's going to come back either
I feel like I'm scared to let go
Fear is what part of what is keeping me with you
I don't want to regret my decision later
But how can we continue on like this
At the beginning you were my world
Now I don't even know where you fit
Your place is somewhere but I'm having trouble
Have I outgrown you
Are we just too different
Somedays I want you to just hold me
Somedays I want you out my front door
Why can't I just decide
Life is so frustrating
And these days I'm wondering I'm just not the same
Friday, January 06, 2006
Love Me Or Leave Me.
I feel as if I'm flying
Except for my wings are only temporary
Once my dream either comes true or dies
Then it's decided where my wings will stay
I want so bad for this to come alive
I'm praying that this is for real
If not then that's alright
Atleast I knew all along that it wasn't for sure
Take me now in your arms
And tell me your true feelings
Let me in,let me know
Because without knowing I'm dying
I need you more than ever
But you seem to pull away
Can you stay forever?
I hope that is the case.
Except for my wings are only temporary
Once my dream either comes true or dies
Then it's decided where my wings will stay
I want so bad for this to come alive
I'm praying that this is for real
If not then that's alright
Atleast I knew all along that it wasn't for sure
Take me now in your arms
And tell me your true feelings
Let me in,let me know
Because without knowing I'm dying
I need you more than ever
But you seem to pull away
Can you stay forever?
I hope that is the case.
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