Mother Dear.

When you think of the word mother what comes to mind?
A picture of two children enveloped in their mothers arms?
A mother and child sharing a hot chocolate, both have big smiles pasted on their faces?
A picture of a bottle of wine half-empty, a mother nearby slurring and stumbling uncontrollably as the child hides out in the bedroom?

You have become your worst fear mother dear.
You are your own mother, a drunk who no one wants to be near.
A woman who was once someone worth knowing, now someone to stay clear of.
Now I will have the pleasure of telling my children, "Your grandmother was once an amazing mother. Believe me, I know it doesn't show now, but she was really something before."
People will scoff and disregard when I try to defend what's left of you.
I cannot believe it has come to this, you have turned into this. Your worst nightmare.
All those empty promises, all those lies, all that hope evaporating.
All those dreams I had of your full recovery. There is no one left to blame Mother, no one but yourself.
"I'm sorry" has become your catchphrase. You have become predictable, unworthy of praise.
Some might even say unworthy of the love give forth to you.
This game you are playing, this "schedule" of yours, won't work anymore.
I don't want to be understanding, you have no condition, no illness, you are killing yourself.
I am tired of making excuses for you, I am tired of saying one day you will come around.
I am tired of hoping you will make it out and be the way you once were.
I am tired of you.